Simone Abrahamsohn, a resident of Toronto, shares her experience of taking on a new role as her brother’s primary caregiver after the passing of their mother. Juggling the responsibilities of caregiving and cohabiting with a neurodivergent sibling has presented its challenges.
Stuart, Abrahamsohn’s brother, is autistic and a left-brain stem stroke survivor. His care involves handfeeding due to a hand tremor from the stroke, wheelchair-to-commode transfers, and assistance with daily tasks like grooming and exercises. Stuart also experiences emotional lability and is sensitive to loud noises.
Abrahamsohn reflects on her childhood when she felt embarrassed by Stuart’s behaviors, such as introversion and stimming, which led to misunderstandings among their peers. She acknowledges similarities between them, noting her own experience with masking ADHD and managing emotions.
She describes efforts to accommodate Stuart’s needs by minimizing her own behaviors that could trigger him. Growing up without the support available today, Abrahamsohn strived to distance herself from Stuart’s challenges.
As an adult, Abrahamsohn has embraced her role as Stuart’s roommate, prioritizing his comfort and autonomy. She values their relationship and the opportunity to advocate for him, recognizing the importance of being present and supportive.
Despite personal sacrifices, such as giving up acting classes to care for Stuart, Abrahamsohn is committed to creating a supportive living arrangement for both siblings. She sees this as a chance to make amends for past shortcomings and strengthen their bond as siblings.
Abrahamsohn’s story sheds light on the complexities of caregiving for neurodivergent family members and the journey towards understanding and acceptance.